Lies Parents Believe – Part 2

The Youth Minister and Church Activity

Within the last thirty to forty years there has been a major shift within the thinking of our culture. This statement could obviously be addressed in a number of ways, but I want to look at one. It has been said that today we live in the age of the paid professional. Professionals exist for any number of specialized areas that previously would have been covered by one or two people.

Many probably remember a day when most people performed most of the maintenance and some of the major work on their own cars. Most wives cared for interior of their homes and the husbands would care for the lawn and general home maintenance. Education took place at home as well as at school with parent personally knowing most if not all of teachers in the school system. The doctor that delivered you would likely be the same doctor that cared for you your entire life. Today, however, the oil might only be able to be changed by the dealer. Wives are busy in the workplace so there might be a maid service that comes by to clean weekly or bi-weekly.  A professional lawn care service takes care of the lawn and landscaping. The specialization of teachers and centralization of schools have increased their numbers to where knowing them all can be a challenge. And family doctors, while they may serve whole family ages, may or may not serve a whole family.

The point being, a professional is more often looked to when something needs to be done. Sports require a sports professional. X-rays require a specialized radiological technician. Spiritual matters require a “spiritual professional.” This last statement is a lie parents believe.

God never intended for parents to be transportation specialist between different training specialists. God intended for parents to be the people most directly involved in the spiritual formation of their children. Not only is there the command in Deuteronomy 6 that was looked at earlier, but there is also the recognition of all believers serving as a royal priesthood! (1 Peter 2:4-10) God intends for dads and moms to be the “spiritual professionals” for their children. Anyone else, including a youth or children’s minister is a poor substitute.

Many a parent has been frustrated and heartbroken by their teen’s sinful choices. The tendency is to blame the youth minister or church for failing to adequately train them spiritually. Consider the number of hours a child will spend each week studying each subject in school, the number of hours spent with peers, or watching TV, the number of hours spent with parents, or any other extra-curricular activity. Now consider the number of hours focused on spiritual instruction.

The average child spends about three hours a week at church: one hour in worship, one in Sunday school, and maybe one on Wednesday night. Focused teaching times within those three hours are a thirty minute sermon, and maybe forty-five minutes each for Sunday school and Wednesday night. Being generous we get two hours a week with only one being really focused for your child.

There are 168 hours in a week. One or two hours are not enough for any kind of consistent discipleship. The number of hours given to countering messages from peers and media make it nearly a losing battle. Adding more hours each week spent at church will not provide a much more favorable outcome. Church activity cannot be equated with spiritual growth.

There is one voice, however, that bears more weight than peers, cultural media, church pastor or youth minister, or favored teacher. A parent’s voice bears more weight than any other these competitors, even in the midst of conflict or “teenage rebellion.” MSNBC offered this article revealing parents still possess the greatest influence in their teen’s life. Look over some the results showing the influence parents have with their children. One more link here.

Attending church with your child is very important. They get to see you worshipping, giving heed to what God says, tithing, and giving and receiving encouragement from others. But don’t assume because your child attends church and participate in age appropriate meetings and activities he or she is growing spiritually. The youth minister may be a spiritual hero in your eyes and even your child’s, but he is not the parent of your child. Ultimately, your child will look to you, the ones to whom he is most closely related, to understand where he comes from spiritually. With that potential understanding, he will then step into his future. What will you give him?  . . . More on that topic will come next week.