Lies Parents Believe – Part 1

Jesus & Church

I want my child to want to go to church. I think he should be excited about church. There should be activities and events that keep my child interested in church. I’m so tired of hearing my child complain that church is boring; we really need to make it exciting for them.

Do any of those statements sound familiar? I have heard things like this many times over, spoken directly or indirectly to me. Parents might enjoy church but are frustrated or left wondering why their child finds it so distasteful. They reason it must be something is not being done right for their age group of children.

There are a couple problems here and the first is a misplaced priority which could easily become idolatry. The lie says that a godly parent should see that their child loves church or the church experience. But parents should not desire to see their children first develop a strong love for church. The church is the bride of Christ and serves as the hands and feet of Jesus in the world today, but it is not Jesus himself. The church is made of a bunch of sinful, fallen people who are imperfect. These same people are being fashioned into the image of Christ, but they are not there yet. How is a child to handle the frustration and disappointment that are sure to come as they mature and spend more time around the church and its people?

A godly parental desire is for children to first develop a strong love for Jesus. Loving Jesus doesn’t necessarily mean there will be no disappointment or frustrations with the church life, but it will leave more room for the Holy Spirit to work understanding, forgiveness, and God’s redemptive purpose in their lives. A primary church love, however, will lead to disillusionment, anger, resentment and, ultimately, abandonment of the church. Jesus must be the ultimate priority in what we teach and model for our children. When Jesus is the primary object of our love, an secondary love for his church will naturally develop, even in the face of its troubling issues.

Secondly, nowhere does scripture indicate fun or personal enjoyment is to be a central characteristic of a church fellowship. I believe they may have a place, but never one of priority. Equally I don’t believe a church fellowship should be completely absent of these either, in an appropriate context. They just cannot be the driving factors of a biblically functioning fellowship. The second chapter of Acts gives a familiar snapshot of the characteristics of a healthy and vibrant church: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. . . . And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (vs. 42-47).

Ultimately, what do we want for our children? Do we want them committed to maintaining a fun and exciting social organization for children and their parents? Or would we rather strive to see them deeply and faithfully committed to being a disciple of Jesus. The difference may seem subtle, but it can mean all the difference in the world.

Please don’t understand me to be challenging ministry to youth as whole. I believe it can be an important part of the ministry of the church. But the way so many misunderstand the capability of ministry to youth has driven it to become terribly ineffective. I don’t presume to have all the answers. However, my years of youth ministry experience, listening to others, and reading have given me some insight into what ministering to youth can never do. That is will be our topic for next week.